If you are thinking of separating from your partner, or you have separated, you may be wondering what you should do next.  Regardless of whether you have been together for a significant period of time, or a shorter period of time, it can be difficult to know where and how to start unravelling your joint lives, including your finances.  In this article we set out some things to think about and steps to take to make the process easier.

1. Take specialist legal advice, and take it early on

Taking the advice of a specialist family lawyer early on means that you are in a position to make informed decisions (should you need to).  We can give practical tips and advice at the outset to help you progress matters sensibly, and to ensure that you don’t do something early on which may later disadvantage you.

2. Keep a record of important details

This could include, for example, the date of separation, any agreements you and your partner may reach, and any significant expenses incurred post separation.  You will also need to provide certain information and documents.  Again, by taking early legal advice we can advise you as to what is, and is not, important for you to keep a record of, and what disclosure e.g. bank statements, kiwisaver statements, company accounts, trust deeds etc, is likely to be required so you can start to gather that information early on.

3. Be organised and plan ahead

The process, or even the prospect, of separation can be overwhelming for some people.  However, not engaging in the process won’t make it easier or quicker for you.  Dealing with the matters flowing from separation is likely to be less stressful, and cost less money, if you take an active role and are prepared to make informed decisions.  Having a specialist lawyer, who you have trust and confidence in, to help you through the process can make it less overwhelming.  Where necessary, they can work with other professionals too, e.g. accountants, or financial planners, to help you plan for the future.  Now is also a sensible time to update your Will or to  make one, if you don’t already have one.

4. Keep your integrity

No matter the circumstances resist broadcasting the details of your separation on social media and venting to anyone who will listen.  Even if your former partner is bad-mouthing you, desist from doing the same.  Always act in your children’s best interests and look after yourself – physically, mentally and emotionally.  When you can deal with your emotions you will be in a better place to make sensible decisions about your financial settlement.  Sometimes talking to a trusted friend or a counsellor can help provide some balance and perspective.

5. Focus on the big picture

You are likely going to need to make some big decisions during the separation process about your future, e.g. where will you live?  By focusing on the future, and what is most important to you, you will likely stand a better chance of not only separating amicably and with a smaller legal bill but also achieving an overall outcome that you are comfortable with and can move forward from.  In a years’ time you are unlikely to be grateful (or even remember) you spent money on lawyers to argue over who retained the dinner set.

If you have separated, or are thinking of separating, please feel free to contact Sarah White, Consultant (03 343 8452 / sarah.white@mmlaw.co.nz), or one of our specialist family law team.  We specialise in helping our clients through the separation process from routine separations to highly complex matters, including through the court process if that is required.