Family Court proceedings for parenting orders can be lengthy, stressful and emotional journeys. It is important to have good support around you and to receive accurate legal advice while engaging with the Family Court.

Below are the five most common questions we receive as family lawyers, and our broad answers. Every child and their circumstances are different, so our advice will always be tailored to them. Your child’s welfare and best interests are the primary focus of Parenting Order proceedings and we centre all our advice around your child.

What is a Parenting Order and do I have to follow it?

A Parenting Order is a Court Order made by the Family Court, and the Order says where a child lives and who they have contact with. Only children under 16 years old can be subject to Parenting Orders (except in special circumstances).

A Parenting Order will include information about what happens if the Order is breached and may have various conditions. The conditions might set out the practicalities of how to manage the care of the children (for example, where the pick up point is) or certain rules about care (such as how the parents are going to communicate with each other, e.g. by email only).

It is important to follow the Order and its conditions as it is possible to be criminally charged with a breach, as well as being subject to a range of orders from the Family Court if a Judge decides that you did breach the Order.

My co-parent and I already have a written agreement. Is this the same thing?

A written parenting agreement is different to an Order. However, you and your co-parent can agree to make an agreement into an Order if you both agree that is the best thing for your children.

An Order can be enforced by the Court if something goes wrong, but not a parenting agreement. If your co-parent suddenly stops following the parenting agreement, talk to us about your options. Sometimes the Court agrees to give effect to the parenting agreement by making an Interim Parenting Order.

I’ve been served with a Parenting Order application by my co-parent. What now?

Book in with a trusted lawyer as soon as possible, or get advice over the phone. Parents often feel more in control once they have had legal advice and understand the process a little better. It can be a relief to have an experienced professional on your team, but it is also possible to self-represent.

Your lawyer, once they have read the documents you’ve been served with, will answer the following:

1. Has an Interim Parenting Order been granted? What does it say?
2. How long do I have to file my written response?
3. Do I have to go to the Family Court in person? When?
4. Has a lawyer been appointed to represent my children?

Your lawyer will give you advice about how to move forward. It might be appropriate to try and mediate, or maybe a Judge needs to make the decision as soon as possible.

Some parents will benefit from communication counselling along the way, and a Judge might grant you funding for this. A Judge might also think that input from a psychologist or social worker will help to resolve the issues. Every proceeding before the Family Court is conducted case-by-case and will look different.

You and your lawyer should ask yourselves at every step: how can we improve my child’s life and keep their wellbeing at the forefront of these proceedings?

How long does a Final Parenting Order last and what is in it?

The Order will last until the child is 16 years old, unless otherwise agreed. You and your co-parent can agree to formally vary the Order and ask the Court to sign off your changes, or if it’s safe to do so, you can decide together to do something different without involving the Court.

In addition to outlining the regular care arrangements, a Final Parenting Order might cover phone/video contact and what happens in the school holidays, over Christmas, on any special days such as Mother’s or Father’s Day, birthdays, special holidays like Easter. The Order will also state any conditions about how care is to work.

You might also want to think about who is to care for the children in an emergency if you are not available, how overseas or domestic holidays might look, if you need particular changeover arrangements and which parent is responsible to collect a sick child from school.

The most important thing is to make an Order that works for your children and meets their needs.

I want to change the existing Parenting Order but my co-parent doesn’t agree. What can I do?

For more support, go to mediation together (Family Dispute Resolution) or ask a mutually trusted friend to help talk things out. Talk to us for legal advice prior to mediation so you know what to expect.

If your Order is less than 2 years old and you and your co-parent have tried everything you can do to resolve things without the Court, you can look at asking the Court for permission to bring new proceedings. You will usually need to complete Parenting Through Separation, which is a parenting information course, as well as Family Dispute Resolution (mediation) before you can ask the Court to re-open the proceedings.

If it is not safe to mediate with your co-parent and you need to urgently change the Order, talk to us.

Who do I contact for help?

If you have any questions or concerns, please do not hesitate to contact Charlotte Rudd, Solicitor (03 343 8586/charlotte@mmlaw.co.nz) or any member of our family law team.