Separation can be one of life’s most significant transitions. If you are in the early stages of separation, it can become even more stressful if your ex-partner posts false, humiliating, or invasive comments on social media. At Mortlock McCormack Law, our family law team can help clients navigate these types of issues in a practical and constructive way—the goal is to minimise conflict and protect wellbeing.

It is not uncommon for our clients to report that their ex-partner has made a false or misleading statement such as allegations of infidelity, shared personal or intimate details online, or publicly shamed them. If you find yourself in this situation, you may ask: “What should I do?”

1. Don't respond publicly

Our experience shows that online public confrontation often escalates matters in unhelpful ways. Responding can make communication with your ex-partner more difficult when settling relationship property and childcare matters. This is especially problematic if children are involved and you are now in a co-parenting relationship.

In New Zealand, misconduct by one party, such as adultery, does not affect your entitlement in relationship property matters under the Property (Relationships) Act 1976. However, if you end up in the Family Court discussing parenting arrangements or other childcare matters, harmful posts from a tit-for-tat online battle will likely work against you.

2. Keep a record

We recommend that you document everything your ex-partner posts if you find it offensive or harmful. You may not need this right away or at all, but if things escalate it could be beneficial to have this available for your lawyer. This could include retaining screenshots of any offensive posts, including comments and timestamps, and copies of direct messages or threats.

3. Take action

Taking action may depend on what stage of the separation you are at. If you and your ex-partner are negotiating a separation agreement or childcare agreement, your family lawyer can assist you, for example by contacting your ex-partner’s lawyer to have the post removed in the first instance and stop any future posts.

If you have recently separated from your ex-partner or you are choosing not to engage a family lawyer, you could contact the online platform where the post(s) is located and request removal of the post(s).

Another option is reaching out to Netsafe. Netsafe is an approved agency under the Harmful Digital Communications Act 2015 (HDCA) created to assist in complaints covered under the HDCA. This helpline is free and confidential. The HDCA offers protection from communications likely to cause harm or serious emotional distress such as false allegations that harm reputation or harassing or threatening communications. It applies across online platforms—Facebook, Instagram, messaging apps, emails, or public forums.

If the problem persists, your family lawyer can also assist you with considering other options such as escalating the matter to the District Court under the HDCA, defamation and other avenues.

If you have any questions or concerns, please do not hesitate to contact Brisha Gardner, Solicitor (03 343 8385/[email protected])  or any member of our family law team.